OK. Before I say anything... You have to watch this:
Now answer me something... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??? I have many questions that I demand Sea World to answer. First and foremost... Why in the hell is Shamu flying?! I mean, that really bothers the hell out of me. Its retarded. Its something that a kindergartener would dream up. Maybe thats their whole point but to those of us who still have sense... It might just be the most stupid thing imaginable.
Secondly... When was the last time one of those dolphins actually came that close to you? I mean really... Having a dolphin come near you is like an endurance trial. You very quietly and gently put your hand on the surface of the water, wait there, don't move... I think it's coming... Wait for it... OH NO, it went the other fucking way. What else is new. But no... This kid and her father get one fucking bobbing its whole upper half out of the water to greet them. Yea. That would be the day.
Thirdly... I might be seeing things but does Shamu come out of the water under the kid at the play area. Damn, you know, if that actually happened, my ass would be in the play area all day just waiting like I do for the damn dolphins. There I am... Looking like a dumbass with my face pressed against burning hot plastic in some maze of microwaves that slowly kill you HOPING for a glimpse of a frickin whale.
Lastly... I don't think this needs much more of an explanation but THAT IS THE MOST ANNOYING SONG IN THE WORLD!!! Some genius at marketing was like... OK, lets have a song with a lot of Hey Ya's and throw in an Ooooo for good measure. THAT WILL DO IT! WTF happened to the days of New Sensation by INXS? Oh man. This commercial just bothers me every time I see it and it must be put to an end.
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